She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
