dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Nicole vs. Life
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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