I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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