you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
