You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
