yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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