I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
