Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
only if we run a train.
done.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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