:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
