Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
