i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
