One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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