If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
