well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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