I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
