Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize