I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
