i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
