Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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