the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
