How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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