Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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