How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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