Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
