I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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