i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
