Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
