I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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