Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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