is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
