I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
