Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
