I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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