May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
