Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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