I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if i can run in heels then i can drive
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
