you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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