Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
