You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize