i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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