Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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