Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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