I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.