Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My bed smells like the plague
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
