How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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