I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
In America we eat man semen.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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