So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street