Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug