READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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