Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc http://tfl.nu/g2b1
  Replies (59) Good night (2092) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure http://tfl.nu/ggme
  Replies (19) Good night (1302) Bad night (1892)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien http://tfl.nu/9idk
  Replies (31) Good night (1031) Bad night (3723)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life. http://tfl.nu/ieq0
  Replies (5) Good night (681) Bad night (3400)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time. http://tfl.nu/9x69
  Replies (14) Good night (1730) Bad night (4160)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom. http://tfl.nu/uq6s
  Replies (22) Good night (6650) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face. http://tfl.nu/ins1
  Replies (10) Good night (4082) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out http://tfl.nu/qumr
  Replies (16) Good night (4904) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  there are ass prints on the hood of my car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): there are ass prints on the hood of my car. http://tfl.nu/hwv7
  Replies (10) Good night (3057) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling. http://tfl.nu/9r51
  Replies (4) Good night (1965) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges. (1-313): Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss. http://tfl.nu/0qrk
  Replies (4) Good night (3288) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (469): I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years. http://tfl.nu/9l4v
  Replies (5) Good night (778) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): 2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night? http://tfl.nu/07lp
  Replies (1) Good night (818) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great. http://tfl.nu/f5oy
  Replies (3) Good night (785) Bad night (308)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down. http://tfl.nu/18pc
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (276)

Randomize