worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
