Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
