I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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