Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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