I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
