btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
