just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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