I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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