I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
