You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
