you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He kissed a someone with a penis
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
