Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
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It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
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No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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