It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
