I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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