batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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