I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
