i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
