oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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