90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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