what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My balls are so social today.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
