i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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